I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
