What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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