Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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