Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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