Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize