She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
