I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
