If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
