Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize