Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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