shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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