And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
