Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
