i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
