The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
