Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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