I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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