I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Princesses don't give blow jobs
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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