the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
