Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
