Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
