fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
