Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
