Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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