You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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