We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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