im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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