Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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