You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
