i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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