What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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