so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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