i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
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