I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
