is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
