Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
