Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
