I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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