we have pet lesbian snakes
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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