just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
