Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
