We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
