She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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