i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?