Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

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  (773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman? http://tfl.nu/4514
  Replies (28) Good night (2464) Bad night (685)
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  (916): View more from California

  You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..

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  (916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you.. http://tfl.nu/8fyi
  Replies (24) Good night (929) Bad night (9229)
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  (323): View more from California

  I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

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  (323): I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom. http://tfl.nu/rbnh
  Replies (120) Good night (1647) Bad night (45724)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"

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  (402): My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet" http://tfl.nu/f79o
  Replies (16) Good night (3473) Bad night (1092)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..

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  (+44): She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave.. http://tfl.nu/u6hz
  Replies (11) Good night (1269) Bad night (4452)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.

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  (952): Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home. http://tfl.nu/0k8h
  Replies (27) Good night (1511) Bad night (4001)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.

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  (917): I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to. http://tfl.nu/px3a
  Replies (6) Good night (1931) Bad night (875)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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  (315): Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ovxs
  Replies (18) Good night (2330) Bad night (586)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.

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  (303): just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room. http://tfl.nu/ss1c
  Replies (19) Good night (2596) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.

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  (631): I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis. http://tfl.nu/wmkv
  Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (502)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it

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  (602): Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it http://tfl.nu/5hme
  Replies (3) Good night (1214) Bad night (459)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.

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  (647): That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night. http://tfl.nu/q0pz
  Replies (2) Good night (1067) Bad night (487)
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  (88): View more from

  Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!

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  (88): Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE! http://tfl.nu/c8a6
  Replies (3) Good night (721) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name

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  (646): Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name http://tfl.nu/j3ir
  Replies (5) Good night (451) Bad night (725)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around

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  (901): I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around http://tfl.nu/mpwe
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (209)

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