Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  So, how was the dinner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.

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  (406): So, how was the dinner (1-406): Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive. http://tfl.nu/9pb0
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (1400)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him

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  (434): he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him http://tfl.nu/rnup
  Replies (63) Good night (1580) Bad night (3816)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.

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  (253): don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects. http://tfl.nu/678l
  Replies (15) Good night (850) Bad night (3038)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!

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  (815): I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico! http://tfl.nu/4kc0
  Replies (13) Good night (3787) Bad night (1045)
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  (310): View more from California

  He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.

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  (310): He's pole dancing on a heat lamp. http://tfl.nu/0l62
  Replies (9) Good night (1554) Bad night (3479)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many

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  (319): You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many http://tfl.nu/z652
  Replies (8) Good night (5007) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.

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  (850): You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism. http://tfl.nu/m7x4
  Replies (18) Good night (6295) Bad night (1671)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up

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  (301): Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up http://tfl.nu/i9yn
  Replies (17) Good night (1857) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.

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  (928): Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment. http://tfl.nu/kmtk
  Replies (10) Good night (780) Bad night (1293)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...

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  (727): it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ... http://tfl.nu/w5eb
  Replies (7) Good night (1286) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."

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  (480): In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.." http://tfl.nu/m3fa
  Replies (6) Good night (2962) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me

  (480): View more from Arizona

  its gonna be a great night

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  (602): A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me (480): its gonna be a great night http://tfl.nu/3rrx
  Replies (11) Good night (1185) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.

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  (317): My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class. http://tfl.nu/0nnz
  Replies (0) Good night (551) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES

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  (604): The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada (1-604): PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES http://tfl.nu/q2yd
  Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...

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  (478): Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole... http://tfl.nu/urfe
  Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (225)

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