Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?

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  (847): Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student? http://tfl.nu/joo8
  Replies (17) Good night (1441) Bad night (503)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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  (403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. http://tfl.nu/e222
  Replies (11) Good night (2909) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!

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  (559): That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?! http://tfl.nu/5bsv
  Replies (48) Good night (1628) Bad night (2878)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!

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  (720): you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night! http://tfl.nu/g3lv
  Replies (10) Good night (3740) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?

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  (509): my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right? http://tfl.nu/pq1k
  Replies (8) Good night (4160) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.

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  (614): I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help. http://tfl.nu/rixg
  Replies (20) Good night (2686) Bad night (5183)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.

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  (613): I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's. http://tfl.nu/yr3w
  Replies (11) Good night (1083) Bad night (4369)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running

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  (650): at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running http://tfl.nu/xnze
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (2339)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples

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  (610): I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples http://tfl.nu/ak9g
  Replies (4) Good night (2552) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny

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  (515): you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny http://tfl.nu/4raj
  Replies (4) Good night (2230) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.

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  (260): Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed. http://tfl.nu/ajvn
  Replies (5) Good night (2360) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here

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  (443): They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing. (1-410): Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here http://tfl.nu/0wca
  Replies (7) Good night (1376) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?

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  (615): I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend. (1-615): Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist? http://tfl.nu/x9n9
  Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing

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  (914): Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing http://tfl.nu/dzxw
  Replies (1) Good night (1197) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you

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  (816): If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you http://tfl.nu/tk9b
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (234)

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