How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
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I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.