...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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