you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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