Nicole vs. Life
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.