i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so let's talk penis.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
