i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
