my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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