sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
