Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
