3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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