FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
