3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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