Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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