It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
