Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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