she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
