They should really pass out barf bags in church
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
