I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Success! We fucked roommates!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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