i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
