I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
