definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
