Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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