So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
